I just took a thirty-five minute walk around my entire neigborhood, the conjoining park, and back home. It’s now 1am. Here’s what went on. Excuse the grammar and sentence structure until I can revise this during the PM hours.
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I couldn’t sleep. I knew I had to get one-on-one with God. Things were on my heart and mind that needed to be dealt with. I needed to talk to God but didn’t want to wake sleeping beauty beside me.
So I got up out of bed and headed for the door. Amanda heard me anyways, so much for not waking her. I let her know I was going for a walk. “Why?”, she asked. “To talk to Dad”, I said. I grabbed a set of headphones on the way out. “Why would I go to pray with headphones?”, I thought. Something told me to. I then went to my car and got my iPod. Playing was Eyes East. I guess I forgot to turn it off earlier. The battery was almost dead. I plugged it into my car charger and let it sit as I turned my focus to God.
I don’t remember much of what I said. More or less I just told God that I needed direction and I wanted to hear from Him. Now at this point is usually when something happens to distract me - I get to where I’m going, nod off to sleep, think of things I need to do - you know the many things that distract us from hearing God’s answer. Thank God, literally, that nothing distracted me. I was ready to listen.
So I glance down to my iPod which has been charging. I get it. That’s how God wants to speak to me. “You’ve spoken to me before through music”, I said. “I’m listening again.” As I walk away from my car, I scroll to the Eyes East CD, “to be…”. I got their CD at a youth camp where I was a counselor and group leader one year. It’s been powerful in my life all the years since. It was powerful again tonight.
The first song, Lord I Thirst for You (a prayer), started the night off right as I got to pray it along with the CD. A few lines…
Lord I thirst for You. I long to be in Your presence. My soul will wait on You. Draw me nearer to the beauty of Your holiness.
Exactly! Lord, You are what I need. Above all, I need to stop seeking things, spiritual or not, above seeking You directly. That’s a struggle for most of us. We get Christian books, Christian CDs, go to church, have Christian friends, and eat Christian mints but rarely just get alone and love on God while He is right there loving on us. We tend to read the Bible but not let God talk to us through it. We pray without listening. I hate those tendencies in me. Tonight I really got to be drawn nearer to God and got to sit with Him and listen to Him. Amazing. I should do this more often.
The rest of the songs God used in unique ways to speak to me. It was good to walk and listen to the words and reflect on what’s presently going on in my life. I now see clearer what it will take to align with God’s will. I am more convinced of what He has in store for Amanda and I. I got answers to some questions I had. I feel more confident in decisions I have to make soon. I am more inspired to intently fulfill His plan for my life and live above the same routine. All because I stopped life and just plain listened to God.
I talk to, rephrase, at God often. Time to change things. I went on a walk thinking I would say a bunch of things and God would handle things in the background. Not so. He spoke and gave me direct answers. It was amazing. I’m looking forward to listening to Him more.
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I’m not sure what each of you could get out of that 2am (the time now) brain-download above, but if I can suggest one thing - get away from life and listen to God. It’s unarguably worth it.